Ashley — I hear you. I understand fear of doctors and judgment. Remember you are strong and smart. You are raising your daughter all on your own. You are totally owning Medium and are a mentor to so many of us. You have shared all the ways you have back and forth between hell.

You are amazing and please never forget that.

Instead of going to a medical doctor, maybe start with therapy to talk about your feelings about all of this. Maybe that is where you can find a recommendation of a doctor who is less about judgment but more about understanding you as a person first, and working with you on what makes sense so you have input on how to approach this. University medical centers sometimes have a team approach to holistic healing for lots of health issues, and sometimes there are clinical trials taking place that pay people to participate. There are lots of ways to go about this that aren’t traditional and that might be the path for you.

Thinking of you. I know how this feels and I am with you. Take care and thank you for sharing your fight.